2013 Golden Globes

Sunday night started off the year's award shows with the Golden Globes, awarding TV shows, movies, actors and directors with a variety of "best" awards. The night was filled with extravagant dresses and overpriced suits gliding down the red carpet, and the two hosts, Amy Poehler and Tina Fey, making the night just a little bit more comfortable for everyone, except the previous host of the event, three years in a row, Ricky Gervais.
The critic charged with writing this review, Hank Stuever, was not the most enthralled watcher of the Globes. Both his title and his first sentence state the only people that he enjoyed watching on that stage, the two hosts, with a side of Jodie Foster. He says that Fey and Poehler could "even run for office" and that is is an "indignity [of] having to host the Golden Globes". He continues with Foster, and her "baffling" speech following the acceptance of the Cecil B. DeMille lifetime achievement award. Apparently, she discussed "everything under the sun": being a mom, being an actress, and, shockingly, being a lesbian. After describing his favorites with as much praise as an entertainment critic can give while being highly satirical, he proceeded with the actual awards, a critic's biggest opportunity to bash everyone. He goes down the list, reciting the best actor and actress (Hugh Jackman and Jessica Chastain), best screenwriting (Django Unchained), and so on. He doesn't include too much detail on each award or winner, because really, the only thing that matters is the award and who got it, not all the people they thanked in their 30 seconds on stage. He also criticizes the technical difficulties which blanked out the speech of the original Argo agent, Tony Mendez, the one speech that might have actually been inspiring and meaningful. Following that, he once again praises Fey and Poehler, this time, by comparing their success with Gervais' failure. He moves into TV show awards, and at this point, uses the shows own credentials and and acceptance speeches against them, as with Homeland, Girls, and Game Change. He mentions Bill Clinton's appearance and his ability to "enliven just about any telecast", and uses that to segway into trashing winners like Adele to presenters like Kristen Wiig and Will Ferrell, even bringing up the failed attempts of Sacha Baron Cohen and Aziz Ansari to make the night better by acting drunk on stage. He concludes the article by saying that this event, glamorous as Hollywood makes it seem, is "the awards show our culture most deserves".